I’m sure this will surprise many of you, but I am single.
I know, I know. It’s impossible to imagine some great guy hasn’t snatched up THIS:
But the truth is, I haven’t actively been trying to date for a while now. I briefly tried online dating a couple years ago, and I’ve had a few dates since then (through being set up by friends or striking up a conversation with someone), but it’s just never been a priority. I’ve never felt like I was missing anything by not having a boyfriend, and I don’t want to be the kind of girl who’s in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship.
That being said, I did promise myself at the beginning of this blog that I was going to take more risks this year, and jumping into the dating pool isn’t a bad way to do that. Being outgoing and meeting new people are important goals for someone like me, who’s a little shy and introverted. I recently moved to a small town, and as much as I’d love to have a meet-cute in some adorable little cafe downtown or taking an autumn walk in the park, I know it’s unrealistic, because obviously real life is nothing like a romantic comedy, so I decided to give online dating another shot.
Surprisingly, it hasn’t been too bad so far. Maybe it’s because I’ve significantly lowered my expectations since the last time I tried online dating. I’ve been chatting with a couple guys who actually seem genuinely intelligent, funny, and charming (although the skeptical part of my brain wonders what particular brand of psychopath they are in real life), so I’m cautiously optimistic.
Of course, finding said intelligent, funny, charming guys has meant going through a lot of questionable ones. For the most part, it’s just mildly annoying; most of my inbox is filled with one-to-three-word messages from guys with whom I have nothing in common (based on their profiles). And that’s fine. With dating sites, especially free ones, that’s to be expected. What did surprise me was how laughably bad some guys’ profile headlines were. On this site, you can enter a brief tagline- something to catch people’s attention. For the most part, they’re standard greetings- “hi there!” or the like. Some are actually pretty funny; “kind of a one” and “No regrats. Not even one letter” made me laugh out loud. Plenty were just cheesy, misspelled, grammatically incorrect messes that I skimmed past. And then there are the ones below:
1.”Woman are just as SHALLOW as men if not more so.”
Because if your lack of subject/verb agreement doesn’t win her over, making a broad generalization about women that makes you sound whiny and defensive surely will!
2. “were are you:)”
At Barnes and Noble…buying you a dictionary.
3. “A gentle poet looking for his princess”
BRB, vomiting FOREVER.
5. “too many ****ing picky people on here”
Yeah! Standards don’t belong in online dating!
6. “You should try my flavor.”
Based on his profile, which doesn’t have anything in his “about me” section other than a self-pitying rant about how online dating hasn’t worked out for him because, again, “women are more shallow then (sic) men,” I’m going to assume his flavor is sour grapes.
Not until you find the space bar!
8. “I’m still in love with her…sorry.”
Maybe you should put online dating on the back burner for now, buddy.
9. “Are you my next mistake?”
No, Taylor Swift.