Dreams

I went through quite a few career dreams growing up. In elementary school, I thought I would be an artist until I realized that even drawing stick figures was a struggle. In middle school, I thought I would be a marine biologist until I realized I’d probably need to get higher than a C in most of my science classes. Very briefly in high school, I thought I would be an actress until I realized that auditions are the most terrifying, soul-crushing experiences ever.

The one dream job that I haven’t completely dismissed as completely unattainable is writing. It’s something I’ve loved doing since I was young. Back then, I didn’t see it as a future career but as a way to entertain myself and my friends and express myself better than I do in person; I never had to worry about stuttering or getting tongue-tied with a pen or keyboard. Once I was a little older, I started considering it as something that could be a bigger part of my life, although I wasn’t sure how. I’ve gone from wanting to write the next big fantasy series to horror novels to music reviews to poetry (until my junior year poetry professor spent a half an hour during our last day of class explaining that you can’t actually make a living writing poetry). As an English major, writing became a big part of my life academically, but it kind of faded once I was done with school.

I’m hoping to accomplish two things with this blog. First is, obviously, to get back into the habit of writing regularly. It was so easy in college, despite having a schedule full of classes, work, and club obligations, but since graduation I’ve had a massive case of writer’s block. Maybe it’s because I got my first full-time grown up job (an entry level position at a health insurance company-because what little girl doesn’t dream of a career in the fast-paced field of health insurance!?) and I’ve been too burnt out at the end of the day to be creative. Maybe it’s because in college, I was always writing for class anyway so doing it in my downtime for fun wasn’t a challenge. I think the most likely explanation is that in college I was always doing something new and meeting new people, giving me a lot to write about-which brings me to my second goal.

A few months ago, a friend asked me if I planned on taking more risks. This was at the end of a night that began with me getting into a pickup truck with four guys I barely knew and driving to the middle of nowhere, Wisconsin (which I realize out of context sounds like an incredibly poor life decision/potential start to a horror movie, but I promise it was perfectly safe).  It was a fair question. I’ve always liked staying in my comfort zone, but I know doing that doing that could mean missing out on some really cool experiences-and potential stories. So that’s my second goal: take more risks. Well, “risks” might be an extreme description. I don’t mean I’m going to do things like hitchhike cross-country or get full sleeve tattoos, but travel more (as much as my budget allows, anyway), go out more (past the little neighborhood bars I frequent), things like that. I’m hoping this goal will not only provide me with content for my writing, but an opportunity to come out of my shell a bit. Posting something I’m writing where a bunch of people can see it is definitely outside of my comfort zone, so I’m off to a good start.

I apologize in advance if this blog is a bit aimless at first. I still really don’t know what I want to write about, so for now it’ll probably just be a combination of stories about things I do this year and other random anecdotes from past experiences. Thanks for bearing with me, and hopefully I’ll have something more interesting to share soon.

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